In which Strikes talks about US medicinal culture and life in general.
Last thing for the evening, I think (my thanks and potential apologies to those trying to keep up/ignore them~). In the past two weeks I made some borderline-useless mostly-allegory posts that I try to avoid most of the time, but they feel good and sometimes that’s just what gets into my blog. This particular post involves the ‘too-honest’ thing, the permanent screaming headache allegory, and not being able to decide if honesty that is most likely purely detrimental should still be told. If you read through this, maybe you’ll learn something about relationships… or at least gain perspective from someone else’s mistakes.
(Fair warning: ‘Butterfly’, this is about you, and while it doesn’t speak ill of you or anything, I don’t think it’ll be good for you in any way, and has the potential to hurt you quite badly. I’m no more interested in doing that than I was last year; this is just a splinter I’m trying to pull out, and this is approximately the best place to do it… but you’re an adult, and you can do it if you want)
TMI Tuesday and no questions, so I guess I’ll answer a few random questions from that reblog I did a couple days ago, picked by random.org so I don’t cheat: H, C, and X. Read more for long windy text:
Alright, so disclaimer and then a holy-fuck-this-is-long cut, then the thingy.
Disclaimer: This is a make-believe pretend very-not-real story that I treat like real life because I am insane. My brain is not right and it tells me that this story is real and it feels real, but it is not. It’s also very much core to who I am as a person, and how I conduct myself, and if nothing else is proof positive that I should be in a mental ward somewhere. So there’s that.
Oh, yeah, and if you decide to try to use this against me IRL, understand that you’ll quite likely pay a steeper price for it than you had bargained for. I don’t imagine it’ll happen, but fair warning’s exactly that.
Whelp, nothing in the inbox, so I guess I’ll just pick a topic at random. Hmm, I’ve had sex on the brain a lot recently, so I’ll just start talking and we’ll see what comes up. It’s under the cut to protect… well, if you’re reading this, you’re not innocent, so not that; let’s say sensibilities :)
My country is completely doomed and I’m getting out the first chance I get.
Our country isn’t doomed quite yet, but there’s a fair amount of hard work ahead of us.
What makes the USA different from Norway is the old belief that every person, given equal footing/leverage/status/opportunities, will be able to willingly rise to whatever status and ability and position they choose to aim for. It’s an excellent ideal to strive for, and I personally try very hard to do it justice.
However, the problems in opposition of this ideal are… many, and easy to follow and enforce, and rewarding. It’s an ideal that requires a great deal of fairness, but current culture rewards unfairness in both physical and social gain. It requires equality and equal footing, which has never existed in our beautiful lands. Being white, male, and masculine give me opportunity and privilege that I see so many others passed over for, which sickens me, really. The ideal requires so much, and provides every reason and motivation to not follow a single portion of it.
Unfortunately, this is not just a problem with politicians, or with the ‘proletariat’, or any single, easy-to-single-out group. It’s systemic, from top to bottom. The vast majority of us are both guilty and responsible to some extent. It doesn’t matter what political affiliation you follow, or how much you assist or fight ‘the system’. It doesn’t matter how much or how little TV you watch, or how often you ride your bike, and most certainly not what music you listen to.
What does matter is educating yourself. Learn about our political system as a whole, and then you can see how bent against the people it’s become. Learn about law and government, and see how twisted its sense of justice and order has become. Learn about the behaviours, movements, and capabilities of corporations, and see for yourself just how much money affects our processes.
And most importantly, do not listen to me. Do *not* listen to me. Learn for yourself. Educate yourself. Teach yourself. And then, make up your own mind. But don’t just sit there and hope things get better.
Feelings. Long, boring, stupid feelings.
But no, seriously, feelings are under the break. They’re bad feels. And maybe good feels too. I don’t really know where this is gonna go. Proooooobably not worth reading.
Q:I'm curious, how did you first realize that you're otherkin?
Ah, this is a fun one.
My mom always said I was different right from the get-go. That I saw a lot and said little and picked up on things way too quick. Which, considering I was raised on a farm, is no surprise.
When I got a bit older (six or so), we moved into town and I got to go to my first school, and I went through most of that feeling like I was out of place. Nothing super-conspicuous, just like there were things missing that nobody should do without. And jesus where were all the trees. Also, I had a pretty crippling fear of the dark. I had the best imagination for the things that hid in the dark… but then again, what kid doesn’t?
Also around this time my family and I started realizing that I had a tremendous temper when it came to injustice, and essentially a complete lack of empathy for folks who did bad things. Nearly killed another kid with a piece of rebar before steps were taken to curb that particular behaviour.
So I was your typical young moody child on the outside. Inside, I was pretty fucked up. I had a name, and it wasn’t what people were calling me. I remembered things that never happened, couldn’t happen. My body never felt like it fit right, either, and I’d get frustrated trying to explain it, so I just shut up and kept quiet. For eight years.
And then the internet. Holy moley that was nice. Not only was it a wonderful escape from small-town Nebraska in general, it also let me meet alllllll sorts of interesting folks. Exposed me to all sorts of new ideas, which eventually led to the exploration of who I actually was, instead of just trying to keep my inside self and my outside self separate. I finally stopped ‘correcting’ myself internally when I used the right name. Started to ask questions instead of push feelings away. It was careful, and exploratory, especially because some of those feelings involved ripping into people and taking intense pleasure in watching them writhe as the life left them. Puhretty conflicted.
It was all hypothetical up until 16. I’d been doing some rather unsavory things to myself (cutting and burning and whatnot), and I was just… fed up with pretending that I was something I wasn’t. And just like that, I wasn’t fed up anymore. I stopped the hurting for the most part and just tried to get to know myself a little better. Also, very same day, I went from being terrified of the dark to loving it… because I was done being prey.
I’m leaving out tons of stuff and this is still mind-blowingly long, so sorry for that. But for me, the build-up was very much a part of the realization. Tadaa!
Q:Recommendations for clopfic?
It all depends on your tastes.
Standard vanilla? Well, the more I think about it, the more I realize that I have yet to read a pony x pony straight fic. Well! I guess Hot Pink will have to do (quickie, estrus trope, Rainbow x r63 Pinkie).
Non-straight normal? If you want short and silly, Scrumpy-Apple Slumber Party (AJ, PP, TS) is light and fun. For something a bit longer, try Stuck (AJ, RD). The last epic length normal one I read was… unnnnnnngh something with RD + PP + TS and I cannot remember the name of it but jesus it was good.
If second-person, self-insertion (*giggles*) is more your thing, you’d be hard pressed (*giggles*) go wrong with TAW. They’ve done some mind-control and rape’y things, but even those are quite good if you’re into that. If not, Her Radiant Dawn has Celestia, Fluttering Hearts for some Fluttershy, or if you want the holy grail of ‘the fuck did I just read that was awesome’, you could give Cracking Open A Coke a try. Mind you, as TAW warns, it’s mostly wish fulfillment goo and to not take it too seriously.
The reverse would be Equestrians on Earth, which the brainfuckery that is Animal Husbandry by Standard Namespace covers quite well. I probably enjoy those way more than one should :3
If loli’s more your thing, you could try Foalin’ Around by hotsauce. It’s a liiiiiiitle far for my tastes, but it does scratch a curious place in my gray matter, so there’s that. Whelp. Oh, that and Snapshots From The Ruins Of My Mind, which is shapeshifter loli.
Lastly, while these are all fics I enjoy to varyingly high degrees, my favorite is Xenophilia. It’s a excellent mix of HiE, cerebral societal exploration, and pony sex. Very much enjoy.